love love love
an internet treasure trove
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- Aunt: Where's your mom?
- Me: Looking for a hat like the one I'm stealing from you.
- Aunt: Why don't you look for one, too, and stave off your inevitable life of crime?
- Me: Nah.
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- Me: the main stuff I want for my birthday are fancy bath towels and a nice weekend duffel bag
- Me: am I...am I an adult?
- Adam: lol
- Adam: no you aren't an adult until you want an accountant for your birthday
- Adam: that is the rule
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- Me: oh man, I miss the silence of Anne's house
- Adam: haha I can imagine
- Adam: silence other than the yapping dogs of course
- Me: they were actually largely quiet
- Me: much quieter than my father, anyway
- Adam: well yes
- Adam: so are most nuclear detonations
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- Me: The cannoli, which I thought about offering you a bite of but decided not to-
- Tom: No judgment.
- Me: ...is coated with chocolate on the inside, has chocolate chips in the filling, and there was a big piece of candied orange peel in it.
- Tom: That sounds good.
- Me: I think I might leave you for that cannoli.
- Tom: I don't think pastry weddings are legal in DC.
- Me: But it IS DC...
- Tom: ...and I would completely understand if you wanted to work to make that happen.
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We’re having a Mother’s Day hang-out. This movie was her choice. The lady likes a swash-buckler nearly as much as she likes a natural disaster flick.
Mom: (At the first ridiculous weapon) Well, I don’t think they had THOSE back then.
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Mom: Oh, it’s him!
Me: Matthew MacFadyn.
Mom: Oh, I’m glad he’s getting work.
Mom: Who’s THAT?
Me: No clue.
Mom: You should know this.
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Mom: How does she MOVE in that dress?
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Mom: Nobody plays this like Tim Curry. But this guy’s a good villain. He’s good, too.
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- New guy: Ooo, check him out.
- Me: Yeah, that's Dennis.*
- New guy: He is HOT.
- Me: Uh-huh. He drives a motorcycle, too.
- New guy: No way.
- Me: Yup. He's Mr. Health Food. Works for Adobe, went to the University of Delaware, a year behind me.
- New guy: How do you know all that?
- Me: I'm observant!
- New guy: You're a CREEPER.
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- Dad: Someone needs to convince me why we celebrate Cinco de Mayo.
- Me: It's the 5th of May!
- Dad: So?
- Brother: It's an excuse to get drunk. Would you rob me of that?
- Dad: Yes!
- Mom: It's also the day Napoleon died. That's worth celebrating, since you hate the--
- Dad: I hate the French!
- Mom: Exactly.
- Dad: I don't want anything to do with them!
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- Adam: I just bought a Kindle book purely because of a facebook ad.
- Me: nice!
- Adam: But the facebook ad said "Do you like Stargate? Then you will probably like this book."
- Adam: Well played, ad.
